Frank Lampard is hanging by a thread as Everton find themselves once again firmly embroiled in a relegation scrap.
But who replaces him if he goes? The top 10 ranked by latest odds at oddschecker.com is a very, very, very mixed bag…
1. Wayne Rooney
We’re quite big fans of retirement Rooney, who seems a man entirely at ease with himself, did a dignified job in impossible circumstances at Derby and speaks entertainingly and adroitly on a game he clearly still adores on his increasingly frequent media appearances. It would nevertheless be spectacularly, monumentally Everton to have a quick look around how well returning legends have done as Premier League managers recently and conclude that it’s a road they wish to take. Ergo, a worthy favourite.
2. Sean Dyche
The two joint favourites sum up the two paths open to Everton if they bin off Frank Lampard as surely they must, no matter how much the latest Bambi killing would vex His Majesty’s Press Corps. If Rooney offers the romantic, heart-over-head option, Dyche offers realism over the current circumstances under which the club currently operates and what its realistic short-to-medium-term goals should be. Namely, remaining a Premier League club beyond May.
3. David Moyes
Going back for a second spell at West Ham worked out pretty well (until it didn’t) so maybe it would be the same at Everton (it wouldn’t). It says a vast amount about both Moyes and Everton that this grimly unimaginative and surely doomed idea seems altogether too plausible once either the Toffees or the Hammers pull the trigger and set off some good old-fashioned managerial merry-go-round dominoes. Some mixed metaphors for you, there, but really you should just be grateful we didn’t make any attempt to do anything with ‘Toffee Hammer’. We’re also intrigued by the idea of both Moyes and Lampard leaving their current clubs for a former club in a mad job swap that benefits absolutely nobody. For this very reason, we really want it to happen.
4. Roberto Martinez
It would go against Martinez’s tried-and-tested managerial method of failing upwards, but is also an unimaginatively disastrous idea that it can’t quite be ruled out because Everton.
5. Duncan Ferguson
What if, and this might blow minds so go with us here, the next Everton manager could be someone who hasn’t previously played for and/or managed the club? It’s quite a thought.
6. Ange Postecoglou
Now that’s a bit more like it. Finally, a name that offers some blend of realism, ambition and the prospect of improvement. The lack of Premier League knowhow is a legit concern but Everton are very much in the beggar rather than chooser category here. The no-nonsense Greek-Australian is doing a good job at Celtic and would have few qualms about banging the necessary heads together at Goodison. His press conferences would also be a welcome addition to the Premier League circus and, thanks to the endeavours of Tim Cahill, Everton is perhaps the Premier League club least suspicious of Australians.
7. Marcelo Bielsa
It’s a hard yes from us but surely a hard no from the universe, which simply won’t allow us this amount of fun.
8. Brendan Rodgers
There is a compelling argument to be made that Everton chucking some money at Leicester for The Brendan is a move that could suit all parties. Everton have admittedly not always had the best of luck with former Liverpool managers, but we refer readers to the earlier point re. beggars/choosers.
9. Mauricio Pochettino
If there’s one thing we’ve learned about Pochettino since he lost his job at Spurs it’s that he’s a patient man ready and willing to wait a year or more for the right job to come along rather than simply jumping headfirst into the first opportunity that becomes available. For this and so many more reasons, his taking over at Goodison would appear unlikely. One never knows, though. And Dele Alli is still technically an Everton player, remember. He could try and get the old band back together.
10.Kjetil Knutsen
The Bodo/Glimt boss is going to keep cropping up near the bottom of these lists as a live outsider until eventually someone takes the plunge. He has after all guided the club to their first two Norwegian titles ever as well as an absolutely terrifically funny 6-1 win over Jose Mourinho’s Roma.